The formation of identity
And the foundation of identity
In my first post we looked at a model of a healthy secure identity, by Dr Steven Stosny, and we began to comprehend its critical role in organising our thoughts, feelings and behaviour choices, which I have proposed can be summed up and contained in the concept of ‘wellbeing’.
We also considered the impacts of two kinds of natural variations of identity, ‘willing’ and ‘due to misfortune’, and how those variations impact someone’s thoughts, feelings and behaviour choices.
In this post, we’ll look at the formation of identity, and the most important parts.
The formation of identity
Dr Stosny explains that identity is a subset of ‘self’, graphically represented like this:
He explains the the other parts of the self which are not part of ‘identity’, are largely unconscious.
The formation of a child’s conscious identity is influenced by a number of factors, both:
internal, influenced by the child’s innate temperament, and
external, for example through Mum and Dad, family, siblings, peers, school, teaching materials, games, videos, movies, and social media.
Can you reflect on your own life and think of the key influences in the development of your own identity? I recommend taking some time to discussing this with someone else or in a small group, and comparing notes.
The foundation of identity
Dr Steven Stosny writes that “all aspects of identity are important”, but he also notes that the parts which are most important for well-being are the foundation of identity, at the bottom of the pyramid - ‘Basic Humanity’ and Character’. This is the answer to my question in my first post: the foundation of your identity is the most important part for one’s wellbeing.
Dr Stosny writes,
Basic humanity is a sense of connection with all humans. It increases respect, appreciation, compassion, and kindness. Identifying with basic humanity alleviates the feelings of isolation that are integral to most psychological distress. It humanizes perceptions of others and culls the negative judgments of self and others that produce so much anxiety and resentment. When in touch with basic humanity, we automatically like ourselves better and treat others humanely.
and
Character consists of mental and moral qualities (examples: honesty, flexibility, humility, resilience, generosity, accountability), in addition to personality and temperament. In short, it’s how we tend to think, feel, and behave.
If we want to reduce bullying and discrimination
So, if we want to reduce discrimination and bullying of all kinds in the classroom and society, then it makes great sense that we concentrate on fostering a sense of basic humanity and the development of good character, in our children. This can be done in a variety of ways, which I’ll write about in a future post, but most importantly for Basic Humanity, as Dr Stosny says, by appreciation of each other. For example, by creating opportunities for people to help one another, and then by being grateful, thanking one another, and using good manners which inherently conveys respect to one another… but many other ways too.
In the next post we’re going to consider a warning from Dr Stosny, of the consequences of ignoring the foundation of identity and at the same time creating a hyperfocus at the top of the pyramid. Can you think what the consequences might be?
See you in the next post.
I acknowledge the work of Dr Steven Stosny upon which my posts are based. His website is www.compassionpower.com